He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
