We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
