just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
