i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
