I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
