I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
