That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
