I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
