She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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