were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize