I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
