Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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