I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
