Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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