pop tarts are not kleenex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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