So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
