your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
