I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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