Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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