We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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