Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
