therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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