Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
