your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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