I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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