i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Green mimosas i think yes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
