Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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