So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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