no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
