Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
