well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
