HIV tests are more positive than that guy
actually, I'm a sock model
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just high enough for therapy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
