Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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