I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
