Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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