I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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