so explain again why im purple
no
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
