Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
