First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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