ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
