Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize