They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
