Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize