that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
