is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
