We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
