I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
