I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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