I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
