I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
