Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
