Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
