he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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