he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
where are my eyebrows?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
