Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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