I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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