im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
