Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
