i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
