...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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