just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
