This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
