it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
