fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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