my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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