porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
