so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
