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But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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