life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize