THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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