Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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