brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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