yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
