I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
